I married Mr. H last year on 9.10.11 (yes we did that on purpose) and before we got married we went to a premarital class through our church. One thing that stuck out to us the most was the topic of love languages. Now, I've heard people talk about this before, but it didn't really click on how important it is to know your own love language as well as your spouses. You can find out more about the love languages in Dr. Gary Chapman's book The 5 Love Languages.
In case this is new to you, here are the five love languages... (if you click on the link above you can find out what each of these five mean in more detail)
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- receiving gifts
- acts of service
- physical touch
In most cases, each spouse had a different order. Everyone wants to feel loved, but the problem arrises when you are loving your spouse like you like to be loved, when in reality they feel most loved a different way. For example, say your husbands top love language is acts of service. He feels loved when you serve him so he thinks that he can serve you too and you'll feel the same love. He does the dishes, cleans the bathroom, make dinner, but meanwhile you aren't feeling loved because your top love language is quality time. You're probably thrilled he's doing all this wonderful things, but what you really want is his time.
This topic intrigued us and after our premarital class that Sunday, we drove back to Mr. H's apartment and talked about what we thought the order was for each of us. Then we found an online quiz which lets you know the order of your love languages. This is the crazy part and goes to show how much alike Mr. H and I actually are...our top three are the exact same, pretty lucky I know! How meant to be are we! :)
My love languages Mr. H's love languages
- physical touch 1. physical touch
- quality time 2. quality time
- words of affirmation 3. words of affirmation
- receiving gifts 4. acts of service
- acts of service 5. receiving gifts
I consider us very lucky to have the same top love languages. It makes it easy for us because while I'm loving Mr. H by cuddling up next to him on the couch, I'm also feeling loved because I'm receiving the same thing from him.
For anyone who's in a relationship whether it be dating, engaged or even married, I'd highly recommend looking into what your love languages are. I think it will make all the difference in your relationship and give you and understanding of how your signifiant other feels loved. You might be surprised and realize while you've been loving him, it's been different than what truly makes him feel loved.
I hope you have a wonderful Monday and enjoy the coming week. Have a happy Monday FRIENDS!
p.s. I chose those two pictures of Mr. H and I because I felt they express our love languages well: physical touch and quality time. Plus they are some of my favorite pictures!!